This Guest Article was contributed by our friend Hazel Bridges, who is the Chief Wellness Coach at Agingwellness.org
Grieving over loss is a common life experience shared by many, but that doesn’t make it any easier when confronted by loss firsthand. Losing your spouse can be especially devastating when considering all of the time and precious memories you shared together. After losing someone near and dear to your heart, you may feel lost, empty, and numb without them. If you are currently struggling with life after loss, here are a few coping strategies to help you along the way.
- Talk About It
The best way to handle grief is to be vocal about your feelings. Talking through our feelings is how we validate our sadness and grief. There are many ways you can express your sadness with others. Your first outlet should always be your family and friends. These people likely shared a special connection with your spouse and are also feeling similar grief over their loss. By sharing your personal grief with them, you not only help in your own healing process, but help with their healing as well.
After turning to friends and family, there are other outlets for you to express your grief. Seek out local support groups to find individuals who are experiencing the same feelings of loss as you are. Hearing their stories and sharing your own will help you feel like you are not alone, and give you some much-needed perspective during a difficult time.
- Focus on Self-Care
As you grapple with losing your spouse, you should never lose sight of your own personal care. Even after loss, you still need to eat, sleep, and keep up an active lifestyle. Keeping these necessities in balance will be challenging, but without taking care of your needs, you might end up putting your own health on the line. To best handle your self-care, divide your needs into three categories: physical, mental, and emotional care.
Your emotional care is handled by addressing your emotions as discussed above. You may even want to pursue a wellness course for seniors. For your physical care, you should not abandon your physical fitness. Keeping an active lifestyle can help you process your thoughts after loss in addition to keeping your body in shape. After experiencing loss, our minds can become scattered and out of focus. Reading and meditation are good mental exercises to improve your overall mental health and keep yourself focused and moving forward.
- Pursue Your Passions
One of the most difficult challenges to overcome when dealing with loss is filling the hole left behind. Just because we lose a loved one in life, doesn’t mean that space needs to remain vacant forever. Once you experience loss, it is essential to begin filling your life with new passions. By pursuing your passions, you enable yourself to rediscover who you are and move forward. By focusing your time and energy on accomplishing goals, you will spend less time dwelling on the pain of your loss.
- Don’t Turn Inward
The biggest temptation that many face when losing a loved one is to close off everyone and try to numb the pain of the loss. This approach to grief can lead to many negative consequences, such as turning to drugs and alcohol. Even those who lived cleanly throughout the better part of their lives find it easy to slip into negative habits. It’s important to recognize the signs and symptoms of substance abuse. If you are afraid that you are beginning to succumb to addiction, you should seek out help immediately to stop the addiction from taking over and wreaking havoc in your life.
There’s nothing easy or straightforward about losing a loved one. The more we try to deny the impact of his or her life and loss, the harder it is to move on. The journey ahead is long, but all it takes is the first few steps.
