The weather today is positively horrendous.
Of course at Regency Nursing Centers, our temperature is perfectly regulated and all of our residents are warm and comfortable.
I was driving to work this morning and was listening to the weather forecast, when the oompa loompa (Remember Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) who they recently “activated” to monitor the “storm desk,” called this week’s weather a “bi-polar vortex?!”
I usually have a cup of coffee in hand on the way in. It’s a very good thing I didn’t or I’d have spilled it all over myself!
What in the world is a “Bi-polar Vortex?!” Is that like a medical diagnosis? I’ve never heard it before and I work in Healthcare.
To be sure, if you live on the U.S. East Coast, March is the greatest time of year for massively confusing weather. March is when warm air masses start colliding with cold air masses, producing an unpredictable mix of snow, sun, and everything in between. One minute, you’re thinking it’s time to put away the sweaters and make room for more springy clothes. The next, you’re wondering where you left those insulated mittens.
But it gets worse.
In today’s news reel, the big joke making the circuit is the gaffe by a weatherman in Washington who was discussing today’s weather.
If you live in Washington, D.C., you may want to have both mittens and tank tops on hand. Oh, and throw in an umbrella, some sunscreen and a hat. Just bring everything. The National Weather Service issued the following forecast for this evening:
“WE SOMETIMES SAY THE FORECAST HAS SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE. I THINK WE CAN TAKE THAT LITERALLY AT THE MOMENT . . . AS THIS FORECAST HAS ALMOST EVERY POSSIBLE WEATHER TYPE/HAZARD . . . IN THE FIRST 36 HOURS. STRONG TO SEVERE STORMS . . . SNOW . . . WIND CHILLS. . . STRONG WINDS . . . UNSEASONABLY WARM TEMPS . . . UNSEASONABLY COLD TEMPS . . . POTENTIAL FIRE WEATHER CONCERNS . . . MINOR COASTAL FLOOD POTENTIAL . . . THERE IS NOT MUCH LEFT.”
I have certain trademark expressions which I repeatedly use in different applications.
In this instance, I will say “you cannot make this stuff up!”