This morning, I responded to a question posed by a family member on the Q&A Forum on A Place Form Mom.com
As you know, I am one of their featured experts and contributors, and as with our efforts across all of our partner websites, our mandate is always to educate and empower!
The question posed, is as follows:
How can I take care of mom without compromising her dignity?
“In so many ways she is like a child, she needs help with almost everything. I’ve never been able to shake the feeling that the normal her is still insider her brain somewhere and I don’t want to humiliate that part of her.”
Here was my response to her on the forum:
“The Only Thing to Fear, is Fear Itself”
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Truer words were never spoken.
Fear in all of its permutations and manifestations is debilitating to both the body and spirit. When such fear is acute, it is even more crushing.
However, one positive and often unintended consequence is when it provides the impetus for personal introspection and growth.
I meet with plenty of families who are fearful. In fact, almost every family experiences some level of trepidation before placing a loved one in a nursing home.
They fear the unknown and they fear the fear itself!
This is completely normal.
Know that your Mom is still there and you are still the daughter who loves her to pieces. You cannot humiliate your Mom, but to simply love her unconditionally, while realizing that she is compromised and that it is not her fault or yours.
Love conquers all!
How would you have responded?