My grandfather was the one who paid all the bills, house repairs and driving. Grandma has only ever taken care of domestic chores and raising children. Grandpa died a few months ago and she has no idea how to function without him. She is otherwise healthy and doesn’t need assistance with anything else. She is lost and I don’t know how to help?

Several of the experts responded on that thread.

I chimed in today as well.

You can view the entire thread here:

Here is what I wrote:

My heart goes out to you and your Grandmother.

Clearly, this is a difficult time for you and your family and at these critical moments, it is easy to become overwhelmed.

 

My first piece of advice would be to take a step back and realize that you are not alone.

This will hopefully provide a small consolation to help you deal with your acute pain and personal loss, to know that others empathize with you.

We don’t live in a vacuum and I’m sure that your many family friends and loved ones are there to assist you in your time of need.

On a practical level and based upon the specificity of your question, here is what needs to be done asap:

1. Your Grandmother needs expert counseling. Look for a qualified psychotherapist who deals with loss and bereavement.
2. Your Grandmother needs to appoint and designate a POA to handle her affairs, clinically, financially, or perhaps even both.
3. Your Grandmother needs to be kept busy, stimulated and surrounded by love (and those whom she loves) as often and as frequently as possible. As a previous responder mentioned, do NOT allow her to isolate herself and withdraw from life, literally.
4. Get her involved with senior and community centers in her area and consider enrolling her in an Adult Day Care Center for daily activities and recreation.
5. Consider engaging with an Elder Attorney to discuss important issues related to Wills, Estates, Trusts and Advanced Directives.

If you have specific questions and would like my personal assistance, feel free to reach out to me via my contact information.

Godspeed to you and yours!

Judah Gutwein, L.N.H.A.

Regency Nursing Centers, NJ

How would you have responded?