This happened just the other day:
<Curtain opens>
Couple: Hi, we’re looking for the admissions office.
Me: Sure, i’ll be happy to help you, I actually hang out there. It’s right this way.
Me: My name is Judah btw (shakes hands), what’s yours?
Lady: I’m Barbie and this is my husband.
Me: (turning to husband) Great, so you must be Ken! (Laughs all around)
Husband: Nah, it’s just Chad.
Chad: Did you say your name was Judas?
Me: No, definitely not. It’s Judah with an H at the end.. Like Charles Heston’s ‘Judah ben Hur’ – that’s me!
Barbie: You were in that movie!
Chad: No sweetheart, he’d be a million years old if he were. It’s a joke (laughs all around)
Me: So how might I be of assistance?
Barbie: Well, we are looking for a facility for my Mom. She’s 92 years old and living with us at home. We are wrapped up in her constant care and we are not getting any younger. We simply cannot do it any longer.
Me: Well, you’ve certainly hit the jackpot then! The best kept place isn’t the best kept secret! Everyone loves Regency!
Barbie: Well what can you tell us about your facility, it certainly looks beautiful!
Me: You haven’t seen anything yet! Ill show you beautiful when we walk around. Beauty is the physical edifice, the impressive grounds, the faces of our smiling and gracious staff and our elated and thriving postacute patients and long term residents.
(Conversation and tour ensues)
Entourage bumps into Regency Administrator in the hallway.
Me: Let me introduce you to our Administrator, Joseph Bernfeld!
Joseph: Hi! You’d better have plenty of time and a free schedule if you’re touring with Judah! (laughs all around)
Me: Allow me to explain the significance of seeing our Administrator out and about and greeting families in the hallway.
Go to any other facility and you will NEVER see an administrator. Instead, his name is mentioned amongst the staff in hushed tones and whispered conversations. He is sheltered from families and sits in a beautiful corporate office somewhere behind a mahogany desk piled high with vital materials, like netflix dvd rentals, golf club brochures, menu at the posh restaurant down the street…you know, real important stuff.
He would love to care about you and your loved one and take a personal interest in your welfare. Alas, he’s just too busy with, well, all of the important stuff! Your call is very important though, leave your number with his receptionist and she will get back to you when he gets back from his ‘business’ trip to Cancun!
At Regency Nursing Homes, our Administrators are front and center and take an active interest in your welfare! They are available and accessible 24/7 and will treat you with the respect and singular attention you deserve!
They are trained and taught this way by our beloved Regency Founder, who has set the industry gold standard for senior care. His vision and hands on approach, breeds and demands accountability at every level of our operations. It is this dedication that is the catalyst for our consistent A+ ratings year after year.
We are passionate and compassionate.
Try us and I promise you will be thrilled beyond belief, I guarantee it!
Barbie: Thanks Judah and we will definitely have Bayshore hospital discharge Mom to your place when she is ready.
Me: You’re welcome and have a great day!
<Regency sells itself, yet again!>
<Curtain closes>
